Keep it Simple

"There was nothing simple about my life before I came to Al-Anon. My work was highly stressful, my time was always short, and my attention was intensely focused on the addict, what I didn't realize I was under a strain. During the early days of Al-Anon, I shifted my intense focus to the program.
As my denial broke, I became aware that I was exhausted all the time. The topic at an Al-Anon meeting was Keep it Simple. It was just what I needed to hear!!

I decided that the top priority in my unmanageable life was to recover from the effects of alcoholism. I had responsibilities and couldn't eliminate all the stress from my life, but I tried to simplofy it wherever possible. In my case, this meant letting go of some of my social activities, temporarily switching to a lower paying but less stressful job, and leaving some household chores undone.
It wasn't a permanent change, just a way to give myself the time I needed for the emotional and spiritual health.
It was such a relief! By the time I returned to my normal schedule, I had a better grasp on keeping it simple, so I was able to handle it more serenely." -Courage to Change
Quote of the Day:"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak." -Hans Hoffmann

Al-Anon Mottos and Slogans....

Easy Does It
First Things First
How Important is it?
Just for today
Keep an open mind
Keep it simple
Let Go and Let God
Let it Begin with Me
Listen and Learn
Live and Let Live
One Day at a Time
Think

Bitterness and Resentment

A longtime member says "An expectation is a premeditated resentment." I take this statement to suggest that when I have a resentment I can look at my expecations for a probable source.

Here's an example: I have a borther who is less attentive to being prompt than I am. When I make a plan with him that involves meeting at a certain time, I am cooperating in establishing conditions that encourage me to nurse a resentment. On the other hand, when I make a plan with my brother that is based on no expectations of promptness, I feel no resentment.

Today's ReminderI have the right to choose my own standards of conduct, but I do not have the right to impose those standards on others.
"I have accepted myself and I'm beginning to accept other people the way they are each day. Now I have fewer resentments"

It's hard to be me....

Don't we all think that from time to time? Well it is, when you are the family and or friend of an alcoholic/addict. They seem to be doing the thing that is breaking the family apart and making everyone bitter and angry and tired and upset and full of hate and sadness. Well, if you have ever been the frustrated loved one of someone who is sick, you know how hard it is, and what it feels like to be helpless...

Ferguson Speaks From The Heart

Facing Reality....

Life is a packaged deal. It is not enough to only look at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointment.
Living with alcoholics, many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next. We adapted by taking whatever part of reality suited us and ignoring the rest. Again and again we were devastated because reality didn't go away just because it was ignored. Our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real. That's why sharing is an important part of the Al-Anon tool. When we share with other members about what's really going on, we cut through the denial and anchor ourselves in reality.
While it may be difficult to face certain facts, when we allow ourselves to confront them, we cease to give our own denial the power to devastate us at every turn.
Today's Reminder
I can't cope with something unless I acknowledge its reality. When I am willing to take a look at the whole picture, I take a first step towards a more manageable life.

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.Now put foundations under them." Henry David Thoreau

I hate holidays...because of family dynamics....

I should be excited about Halloween. Part of me is excited. It's my baby's 1st Halloween. But I wish we could share it all as one big family, like I think of it. My one sis has custody of my other sis' kids. It's very hard. Because I know it's necessary because of the circumstances. But it's very upsetting because I miss the togetherness. And it takes a little bit of our joy away because of the family pain. And I want there to be joy. And I want it to be for everyone. I want everyone to be in a happy, spirited, loving, peaceful place in their lives, but that just isn't the case....