Before Al-Anon, forgiveness meant power to me. I could judge the offender--the person who wasn't doing what I wanted--and then exercise my power by showing that I could rise above the offense and magnanimously show them forgiveness. But I would never forget what had been done.
Today I know that forgiveness has nothing to do with power. It does not give me control. Forgiveness is simply a reminder that I am on equal footing with every other child of God. We all do good and noble things at times; on other occasions, we may offend. I have no right to judge, punish, or absolve anyone. When I behave self-righteously, I'm the one who suffers---I separate myself from my fellow human beings, focus on others, and keep busy with hateful and negative thoughts. By taking this attitude, I tell myself that I am a victim, so I remain a victim. The most forgiving thing I can do is remember that my job is not to judge others, but to think and behave in a way that makes me feel good.
Today's Reminder
I don't know the motives or circumstances that cause another's behavior. I do know that when I hold on to resentment and blame, I occupy my spirit with bitterness. Today I will find a more nurturing way to lift myself up.
"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him", Booker T. Washington
No comments:
Post a Comment